2023-Q3-L10

2023-Q3-L10: Husbands and Wives: Together at the Cross

Read for This Week’s Study: Eph. 5:21-33; Phil. 2:3, 4; Ezek. 16:1-14; 2 Cor. 11:1-4; Gen. 2:15-25.

Memory Text: Memory Text: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish” (Ephesians 5:25-27, NKJV)..

Scriptures

Revelation 16:1-16. The Seven Bowls of God’s Wrath.

Ephesians 5:22-23 (TLB): You wives must submit to your husbands’ leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. 23 For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the Church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!)

Ephesians 5:22-24 (MSG): Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Galatians 3:28: There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave[a] nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 20:25-28: But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,[a] 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,[b] 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Head covering (Scripture)

1 Corinthians 11:1-5: Be imitators of me, even as I also am of Christ. 2 Now I praise you, brothers, that you remember me in all things, and hold firm the traditions, even as I delivered them to you. 3 But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. 5 But every woman praying or prophesying with her head uncovered dishonors her head. For it is one and the same thing as if she were shaved.

1 Corinthians 11:6-10: For if a woman is not covered, let her hair also be cut off. But if it is shameful for a woman to have her hair cut off or be shaved, let her be covered. 7 For a man indeed ought not to have his head covered, because he is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of the man. 8 For man is not from woman, but woman from man; 9 for man wasn’t created for the woman, but woman for the man. 10 For this cause the woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels.

1 Corinthians 11:11-16 (ESV): Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.

1 Corinthians 15:28 KJV: And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be all in all.

Head covering

Barnes' Notes: Having his head covered - With his cap or turban on, dishonoreth his head; because the head being covered was a sign of subjection; and while he was employed in the public ministration of the word, he was to be considered as a representative of Christ, and on this account his being veiled or covered would be improper. This decision of the apostle was in point blank hostility to the canons of the Jews; for they would not suffer a man to pray unless he was veiled, for which they gave this reason. “He should veil himself to show that he is ashamed before God, and unworthy with open face to behold him.” See much in Lightfoot on this point.

Man to his wife. Although each instance of "man" in this verse includes a definite article, "woman" does not. If you read Constable's notes in the NET Bible, he takes this to mean that there is a direct relationship between these two - a man and his wife. In other words, according to this view Paul does not mean that every man is an authority over every woman.

Authority within marriage. I've intentionally used the word "authority" here, because I think it's clear from other passages (such as Galatians 3:28) that Paul does not teach superiority of one gender over the other. Furthermore, viewing this as specific to a marital relationship dovetails into passages such as Ephesians 5 or 1 Peter 3 that use very similar language.

Gender distinction in marriage. ??? Therefore, the entire passage is easily understood, if we allow Paul to define his own terms. Of course it is a shame to a woman's own head, her husband, and to her Creator, if she has a man's hairstyle! And it is a shame for a man to pray with long hair. God didn't design androgyny. He designed gender distinction.

Head covering (glory, prophesy)

Glory, authority and power. When the authority of God appears in man, the head is anointed.

The issue in 1 Corinthians 11 appears to relate to women "praying and prophesying," which are speaking gifts relating to the authority of the Word of God.

Acts 10:38 (NASB): You know of Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and how He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.

The head represents the power. The Spirit (in the form of a dove) descended on his head (Mark 1:10). Thus as the anointed king he is the "head" of state, whose crown is his glory (which represents heavenly authority from God). While he may wear crowns in some literal sense, his "crown" of authority came from the anointing on his head.

In the Christian New Testament, such power comes with the spiritual gifts of "prophesying." The following graph summarizes the general Christian New Testament concept of "prophesying."

n the passage at hand in 1 Corinthians 11:1-22, Paul is referring to women who "prophesy and pray," which are the exercise of the office of speaking gifts.

Paul is saying that women who exercise authority through speaking gifts are in violation of the divine order. That is, they are not reflecting the glory of man (beauty), but the glory of God (authority). Based on the context of 1 Corinthians 11:1-22, the following graph depicts how the divine order relates to the authority of God (crown of glory) and the beauty of man (crown of glory).

Nonetheless, the male (and not the female) in the public exercise of speaking gifts represents the authority of God, and this principle is most relevant in "prophesying" (teaching, correction, and exhortation) of the Word of God, when the speaker exercises the authority and power of God over listeners.

The "Christ" is anointed on the head with the Holy Spirit. He is the "head" of state. That is, he is the head of the body of Christ through the male.

Thus the "glory" of the male is to exercise the office of the teaching and speaking gifts for common edification; that is, men who have the gifts and calling are to exercise the authority of God.

Men with long hair are covering their "crown," which is authority bestowed by God. That is, they are covering the glory of function (authority) with the glory of form (beauty). Paul alludes on the argument of nature in this regard (1 Cor 11:14).

Numbers 30. Father or husband can overrule a woman's vow.

It means to be in agreement with the man before the prayer or prophecy. His OK means she is covered. That way he does not need to dishonor himself by making it void causing himself so much dishonor. A wife prophesing without "a covering" dishonors her husband, because he has not been allowed to hear it first and approve.

Key point: I hope you can see how authority is the covering. If I say "We are going out to eat." then this is the prophecy. If he does not do what he has said then he has broken his word. However, if a woman states to the church "We are going to Walmart to buy some clothes." Then it is disgraceful to the man to say "No we are not." it is similar to a woman having her head shaved because the man no longer looks attractive to the woman. So she should make sure that her man is in agreement. This is what a loving woman will do for her man.

Another example. Here is the other end to see why this is necessary. Let us say that we place ourselves in a room full of men, and your wife comes in and tells the guys "My Hubby is going to get me a $3,000 necklace!" What are you going to do? Buy her the necklace or shame yourself in front of the guys? But if you keep your silence. You better believe that you are going to have to follow through. Otherwise, it is going to shame her, and do you really want to deal with that?

Head covering (provision)

It is the Man's job to provide. So if the woman is to seek offerings from the church, she should have her husband's permission. First off because the husband should be the one asking the guys. When he gives her what she needs it is "His Glory" so if she can get what she needs without him "What Glory does he receive?" Since women have little faith, and it takes so much for the women to even believe that their husbands still love them. Taking away the visible proof that he loves her is like shaving a woman's head. He no longer is able to look awesome to her. For the very need that is supposed to come through him. She can go herself and get.

Notes

Marriage is a team sport. If any member of your team causes you to lose, the team loses--everyone loses.But it's worse still in marriage. If the marriage loses, then society loses. Marriage has to be a win-win or it's a lose-lose.

Unfaithfulness begins when you create fear in your spouse. And fear leads to lack of trust.

Different needs. A key to understanding the dynamics of marriage is that men and women are built differently. The equality of the sexes is a myth. How men and women think and the needs they bring to relationships is quite different.

Husbands desire admiration and respect. They long for this. If they can't get it at home, they look for it elsewhere.

Wives long for love and security.

Different responsibilities. Marriage is a give-and-take proposition. While we come with different needs, we also come with different responsibilities.

Challenges of Marriage

Two come together with differences:

Language and culture.

Expectatiohs

Upbringings, belief systems

world views, manner of managing finances

Outside pressures and challenges of every-day life.

However, women for over a century have sought to emancipate themselves

"Help meet". Not one to help meet expenses...

Jewish prayer: Thank God I was not born a Gentile, a slave, or a woman.

Subordination

Subordination (def.): placement in a lower class, rank, or position : the act or process of subordinating someone or something or the state of being subordinated. As a prescriptive text, moreover, the Bible has been interpreted as justifying the subordination of women to men.

Marital hierarchy.

SUNDAY. Counsel to Christian Wives

From the lesson: Paul will identify the relationship with Christ as the most important and defining one for believers.

Paul also invites Christian wives to submit to “your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22, ESV), clarifying that he is discussing the submission of wives to their respective husbands (see also 1 Pet. 3:1, 5). When Paul says wives are to do so “as to the Lord,” does he mean a wife is to submit to her husband as though he were Christ; or, instead, does He mean that Christ is the truest and highest focus of her submission?

In view of Ephesians 6:7, where slaves are asked to serve “as to the Lord, and not to men” (NKJV), and Colossians 3:18, where wives are asked to submit to their husbands “as is fitting in the Lord” (NKJV), the latter view is to be preferred. Wives are themselves believers who must ultimately honor Christ over their husbands.

Notes

Provision.

Protection.

MONDAY. The Church as the Bride of Christ: Part 1

From the lesson: Ancient weddings:

Loves the church as bride.

Gives Himself as the bride price.

Bathes His bride.

Speaks the word of promise.

Prepares and adorns the bride.

Notes

The adornment on the inside. You are much more valuable person when you are adorned on the inside. When your rooms are filled with precious items.

Proverbs 24. Rooms with treasures.

TUESDAY. The Church as the Bride of Christ: Part 2

From the lesson: Ancient weddings often began with a nighttime parade (see Matt. 25:1-13). The groom and his entourage would gather at the groom’s home — the couple’s new home — and with grand ceremony begin a procession. Lit by torches and accompanied by joyful, lilting music and great rejoicing, the crowd jostles toward the home of the father of the bride. Gathering up the bride there or meeting the bride’s own procession on the way, the parade would convey the couple to their new home, where the guests would settle into a weeklong feast, culminating in the wedding ceremony, when the bride would be presented to the groom.

When Paul portrays Christ presenting the church to Himself, he alludes to this grand parade and to the moment of presentation. In doing so, he provides a moving portrait of Christ’s return as a future wedding ceremony, when the long betrothal between Christ and His church is complete and the wedding celebrated.

WEDNESDAY. Love Your Wife as You Do Yourself

THURSDAY. The “One Flesh” Model of Marriage

FRIDAY. Further Thought:

APPENDIX

Seven basic needs of a husband

https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/ozsafe/i_found_a_iblp_pamphlet_while_packing_for_a_move/

1. Respect as a man.

Tell him how he can protect you.

Financial independance. Whoever "controls" the money controls the leadership

Center your work and ministry in your home.

Giving greater loyalty to outside leadership: pastor, church leaders/teachers, relatives

Reviewing past failures destroys a husband's self-worth

Learn to wisely appeal. Resisting his decisions in your spirit.

Taking matters into your own hands. Intruding into the husband's responsibility.

Do not become your husband's conscience.

2. Needs a wife who accepts him as a leader and believes in his God-given responsibilities

Basic needs of a leader:

Reassurance that his authority came from God

Confidence that God is working through him

Loyalty when mistakes are made and pressures are increased

Admiration for leadership on a larger basis (Psalm 15): honest sincerity, does right, meditation, good report, not getting even (no evil to his neighbor), does not take up offenses (loyalty), moral purity, honors Godly men (giving to, learning from), keeps promises (even when it costs him something), does not profit from others' misfortunes, refuses bribes

Praise for any qualities of a church leader (1 Timothy 3:2-7). Including: clear conscience, alertness, wisdom, etc.

Encouragement not to give up God-given goals. A man is a man when he fulfills God-given responsibilities. Birth, death, fulfillment of visions. Verbalize his deepest wishes.

Patience during times of pressure. A man's goals often involve long-range achievement. A wife's needs usually involve immediate projects.

Enthusiasm for his achievements: Sharing his excitement is more important than sharing his work.

Attentiveness while he is talking. Look at your husband admiringly whe he talks to others; it inspires respect.

3. A husband needs a wife who continues to develop inward and outward beauty.

Hair: symbol of being under authority, her glory (of beauty), femininity, neatness, contentment, submission, softness, self-acceptance, obedience, patience

Dress: symbol of husband's tastes, standards and provisions. Modesty, to please husband, draw attention to the countenance. Remember, what your husband likes, he enjoys seeing often.

Home: She sets the atmosphere in the home.

Weight: self-control, wrong foods, medical problems, etc.

Meek/Quiet spirit: yielded rights

Poise: contentment, self-acceptance. Learn to communicate (acceptance, kindness, understanding, etc.)

4. A wife who can lovingly appeal when he's going beyond his limitations and wisely respond to those who question his ideas, goals or motives.

Appealing to God and applying the same principles when appealing to your husband

Make sure your attitudes are consistently right

Do not appease reaction by discrediting your husband (Abigail).

Lessons from Godly women in Scripture: Sarah, Ruth, Esther.

5. Husbands need quality time to be alone with the Lord.

God made man to have fellowship with Him first

The richer a man's fellowship is with God, the sweeter his fellowship with his wife.

A man's love for God is reflected in his love for Scripture

A man's desire to be alone is not a rejection of his wife.

Every man must "bear his own burden" (Gal. 6:5). However, heavy burdens should be shared.

6. A wife who is grateful for all he has done and is doing for her.

Gratefulness is the basis for happiness.

Men are attracted to grateful women (because they crave admiration)

Learning contentment with godliness. (a) set your affections on things above, (b) trade temporal things to win more of Christ.

List the things your husband is doing for you in order of their importance to him

List what your husband has wisely not done

Seeing how things work together for good

7. A wife who will be praised by others for her character and good works.

Her spiritual leaders should praise her: For her wisdom and discretion, love for her husband and children, submission and obedience to her husband, high morals, home management, her prayers for others, her good works

Her children should praise her: For her virtue, harmony, diligence, thriftiness, alertness, wisdom and kindness

Her neighbors should praise her: For her generosity, hospitality, relieving the afflicted

Her church should praise her